evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
