I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
