I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
