He disabled his match.com account in front of me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
