i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
time to smoke my breakfast
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
