New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize