I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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