all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
