You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i would punch a child for taco bell
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
