I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
