I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
