I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
