I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
