She's JV to your varsity
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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