My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize