you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
