I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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