i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
