pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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