i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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