I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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