Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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