After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently you make a good broom.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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