Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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