Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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