you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
