If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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