I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
