you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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