i think i have two assholes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize