btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
