Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
