I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
