Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
