batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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