This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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