So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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