So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize