i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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