Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
