i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
