maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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