i think i have herpe
just one?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
