Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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