The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
