I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
