I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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