Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
