I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
