what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
