She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
COCAINE IS GR8
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
