How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
