I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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