Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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