I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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