The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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